Have you ever found yourself in a situation with a friend, acquaintance, or family member where you recognized that they were doing something wrong or sinful and wanted to share your concern with them but were hesitant to because you were afraid that they would think you were judging them? I’m sure many of us have been in this situation.
What is a person to do? If you share your concern, you are likely to push them away. If you don’t, you are allowing and almost condoning the sin to continue which ultimately is bad for that person.
I’ve been struggling with this very question regarding someone I just recently met. This person has been away from the faith for a very long time and has shown interest in possibly coming back. Upon first meeting this person, I recognized that she just needed and ear. She needed someone who would listen without judging her and so that is what I did. I just listened to her. Now I would like to make it clear that my background is in education, not counseling, so this area is not necessarily one that I particularly feel qualified in. But, the situation called for me to be there for this person. Upon listening to her story, I recognized that she was a good person who had made many bad choices in her life. I also recognized that she didn’t really have the ideal guidance and support in her life that could have led her to better decisions. In a way, I was overwhelmed. I recognized how blessed I have been but also how sheltered my life was in comparison.
This type of scenario is so difficult for me because I value truth so much - almost to a fault. My honesty has gotten me in trouble in the past because I’m not very good at softening the blow as I’ve been told. People don’t really like the truth. I know that the truth isn’t always pretty when it comes to taking a good hard look at ourselves but I think taking a good hard look at ourselves, or examining our consciences is one crucial aspect of spiritual growth. Examining one’s conscience forces us to see ourselves as we are - sinners.
Jesus tells us in John 8:32 “the truth will set you free.” He goes on to say that “everyone who commits a sin is a slave of sin.” (John 8:34) When discussing our most recent book pick, The Seven Big Myths about the Catholic Church: Distinguishing Fact from Fiction about Catholicism, the topic of freedom and happiness came up. The author focused on these subjects and really points out the necessity to define truly what happiness and freedom are. So often people think that freedom means they can do whatever they want and doing whatever you want will make you happy. One look around can prove that this thought process couldn’t be further from the truth - pun intended. 
Doing whatever we want as human beings often leads us to the opposite of freedom. It leads us to enslavement. For example, what if someone decided that they are free to do whatever they choose and they start drinking alcohol on a regular basis just to help them loosen up and be more social. Eventually the person they can’t loosen up unless they have some alcohol first and finally the person realizes that they can’t get through the day without a drink. This person is no longer free but has become a slave to alcohol.
While we are free to choose to do whatever we want, choosing to do the right thing is the only kind of choice that leads to true freedom.
This leads me back to the initial question at hand and another quote from scripture. “Living the truth in love, we should grow in every way into Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15) I believe God is calling me to be truthful but to do so out of love and in a loving way. This is how we become less human and more divine as we die to ourselves and are filled with Christ Jesus. When we are free from our own will and our will is perfectly conformed to the will of God - it is then that we are truly free.
06/06/2013 *Follow up to the above newsletter. I came across this commentary by Father Robert Barron and thought what he is saying about tolerance and love complements the points I made in the above article.
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