Most of us are familiar with the age old debate about noisy kids in church. There are typically two camps: You’ve got the young family with children who are trying to live their faith and attend church even though it can at times be a challenge. Some church goers are very supportive of these families because they’ve either been there and understand the challenges or they are just wonderfully patient and charitable people. On the other side of the debate are those who feel like church should be silent and anyone causing a disruption should be ushered to the back - either to a cry room or some other separate area. These people are trying to experience the Mass and want or need silence to feel like they are getting everything out of it.
I respect both sides as I’ve been in both positions. This morning at Mass, I discovered myself in a third, less obvious category. I am a wife and mom of three. My kids are 14, 11, and 3 so we still have our challenging weekends with the three year old but, for the most part have gotten past the most difficult stage as she has gone to church enough to understand she needs to be quiet. This is not to say that she doesn’t still have her noisy moments but having three, my husband and I have “been there, done that,” so we don’t get as stressed anymore when she gets a little out of hand.
My family found ourselves sitting behind a couple this morning in Mass with two young children. Their daughter looked to be about 2 or 3 and they also had a newborn boy. The little girl started off talking out loud at which point the mom tried the typical distractions of offering snacks and toys. When she asked her daughter to speak more quietly, the little girl decided she was going to get louder. This poor lady then proceeded to get quite flustered while the dad sat their kind of clueless (sorry dads, I’m just telling it like I saw it). The little girl continued being disruptive and the mom continued to fall apart. At this point the wife began trying to convey things to her husband who appeared to be having trouble interpreting exactly what she wanted him to do. (Sound familiar?) She steadily became more flustered, packed up all the toys and snacks, fussed a little at her husband who somewhat resembled a frightened puppy at this point, then left with the little girl.
As I sat there and watched all of this unfold, my husband and I gave each other knowing glances. We weren’t upset about the noise. After all, the little girl hadn’t been there long enough to cause a huge distraction. We just smiled at each other and thought the same thing: “Thank goodness that’s not us this time.” I did feel bad for them because I know how stressful it can be, but I’m ashamed to say, we secretly had a little laugh about the whole thing because we’ve been there so many times.
I’m not always calm, cool, and collected by any means, but I’ve definitely learned over the years to not sweat the small stuff as much. As parents we spend countless hours teaching our children, guiding them, lecturing them, and so on. Our goal is to mold and shape them into future saints. Here’s the great irony: without realizing it, they too are molding and shaping us into better people. Being a parent has taught me so many things, some of which include the true meaning of sacrifice, patience, and most importantly love. This is the beauty of the family unit. We laugh together, cry together, fight together, and play together. We learn from each other and grow with each other.
By doing this, we can ultimately help each other get to heaven.
Motivate, Discipline, and Love Your Children
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Visit www.parishbookclubs.com for book picks, reviews, and discussion questions.
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